A Garden and a Bush

Finally some answers 1

So if you read the Why Mary Kay post I talked about my ectopic pregnancy. What I didnt go into was that the methotrexate didn’t work for me completely. My numbers dropped but it was kind of slow. The hardest part was I was sick and bleeding for 2 months. I kept asking if this was normal and I was assured it was.

After 2 months I had an ultrasound to see if there was any damage. The ultrasound showed that I still had retained products of conception. Oh how I hate that phrase! Anyways no one in the office got back to me that day and then Monday after the ultrasound was Memorial day. Tuesday I just couldn’t take it anymore and I stopped calling and went in person. The lady at the front desk said it could be 10 days before the surgery scheduler reached out and they might have me wait til the end of the month for surgery. I asked for my records as I would be going to a different doctor if this was the case because I had been in pain, sock and bleeding for 2 months. It had actually gotten to the point I considered asking for a hysterectomy. Demanding my paperwork got me a call and surgery was scheduled for 2 days later.

My mom was out of town but she helped get everything situated. My sister and my dad took the boys which was such a huge blessing and help. My doctor couldn’t do the surgery but my sister’s doctor could. I was relieved that it was her since it couldn’t be my doctor. Having unique anatomy has made things interesting in the past so I was glad it was a doctor who knew my situation. I remember meeting her and then the next thing I knew was the anesthesiologist telling me it was time to wake up.

They had me walk to the recovery room and the first thing I noticed was that I could sit down without pain. I didn’t feel sick anymore either. They came in and told me there had been some tissue in a ball that had been sent out for pathology and there had also been some polyps. She had been able to remove everything so as soon as we got the pathology back we could look at doing another transfer.

It took 26 days to hear back on the pathology results. The tissue was neurotic so I have to take medication for the next month and then we will reassesse after that. I have felt so much better than I did before the surgery. I am almost back to the me before physically. There are days and times that I really struggle emotionally still. I would be 19 weeks along now if everything had worked out. I would know if the baby was a boy or a girl. I know everything happens for a reason and hopefully someday I’ll understand why with this one.

Most of my other miscarriages I have been able to look back and see why it happened the way that it did. The miscarriage before Chris mad it so Chris came while I was on break from school. This was really important since I was on bed rest with him for so long. Spencer needed to come when he did. The medication that has made such a difference in his life was approved for 12+ the month before he was born. He was the first 2 year old put on it in Utah as he turned 2 a week before it was approved. Without this medication his quality of life would be so different. The miscarriage before Mason had to happen. Spencer ended up with psuedo on his first birthday. I had miscarried just before. If I had been pregnant while he was being treated for pseudo I couldn’t have taken care of him as the medication is harmful to a fetus. I dont know why this miscarriage happened or why we have to wait longer but I do hope that someday it will make sense.

Gluten attack=going gluten free again

I love breakfast food but they have tons of gluten. This week I made breakfast tacos that were gluten free. There are these amazing wraps called Crepini which I use to replace my tortillas. They are amazing for tacos, enchiladas, quesadillas, and burritos. I had also seen a video where they cooked the egg most of the way then added the tortilla so that it attaches to the tortilla and so I did that. It was brilliant!

Recipe for those on the Optavia plan: 1 crepini (1green), 1/2 cup egg white (1/4 lean), 2.5 oz diced chicken or turkey (1/2 lean), 1/2 oz cheese (1/4 lean) then what ever other ingredients you want I used salsa, spinach, and peppers to get all my greens. First start cooking your eggs mixed with your diced meat and topped with cheese. When the eggs are soft set add the crepini. Flip over to finish cooking. Pull out and add salsa and veggies. Fold in half and enjoy!

I thought I would put the recipe first since it drives me crazy when its 5 pages later to get what you want but if your interested in the back story it’s down below….

Most people seem to think if you don’t have celiac disease and you avoid gluten then you are jumping on the band wagon. I’ll admit I was one of those people that wondered how big of a deal it really was.

6 years ago Charlie and I were in the middle of fertility treatments. Secondary infertility is hard because everyone is always telling you well you got pregnant once it will happen again just relax.

Our infertility journey had a lot of bumps. We had moved between having our first and trying for our second so we had a different doctor. Lots of people had referred this doctor and he specialized in uterine abnormalities. I had been told after Chris was born that I had a complete bicornic uterus so he suggested that if we removed the extra wall everything would be go to go after that. He did investigatory surgery but everything came back normal. I had even asked if I had PCOS and was told that wasn’t possible as I was too small for that. I weighed 172 pounds and I am 5 ft 2 in.

My husband’s cousin was also struggling with infertility and suggested I try a Reproductive endocrinologist. As soon as I stepped in his office he asked me if I had gain a lot of weight lately. I had gained 40 pounds in the year since I stopped nursing our son. Then he asked if I had really oily skin and if I had problems with acne. He also pointed out that I have a willows peak hair line and wide shoulders. At this point I was getting a bit offended to be honest. He told me he thought I had PCOS and he would like to do testing to confirm it. Turns out I did. Charlie’s cousin also has PCOS and was a huge support to me.

Charlie and I graduated from college during this time.

After the PCOS diagnosis the Reproductive Endocrinologist also figured out I was gluten intolerant. If you have ever had my mom’s rolls you know she makes the best rolls in the world and my dad makes the best cinnamon rolls so the thought of giving up gluten was extremely hard so I thought I would just reduce it.

We also found out about other issues including unicornic uterus (yep the doctor that did my surgery was wrong ). With unicornic uterus I basically only have half a uterus and it explained why Chris’ pregnancy had been so difficult. We did iui’s and eventually IVF. After our IVF cycle ended in miscarriage I really buckled down and cut more gluten and daily from my life. In 3 months I lost 25 pounds. After loosing 25 pounds the FET cycle worked and we got pregnant with Spencer.

Spencer was by far my easiest pregnancy. I threw up only 5 times, had tons of energy, and really enjoyed being pregnant. Labor with him actually started while I was at work taking care of another mom.

The other nice thing was I could eat whatever I wanted while I was pregnant with him and not have the consequences I have when I am not pregnant.

When we wanted to try to get pregnant again I started cutting out gluten and dairy again but our FET cycle failed. It was our only chance at a daughter and I struggled with being able to try again. My body was not working at all after that cycle. Charlie heard about maca root helping one of his friend’s wife get pregnant. I did research and found it helps regulate your cycle so I did it more so I wouldn’t have to take medications. It worked better then we thought possible and my cycles regulated, I lost 25 pounds again and bam we were pregnant.

Sorry that was a lot of back story to get to now! Last September we had another miscarriage and after that happened I decided I needed to get healthier if we were going to have another baby. I had been eating the way I had the other 2 times but it just wasn’t happening. My friend was doing Optavia and I decided to join her. I lost 20 pounds in 2 months and we did an FET cycle with adopted embryos at the end of December. Sadly that cycle also ended in miscarriage. In February we decided to do another adopted embryo transfer which ended up being our ectopic pregnancy.

The positive pregnancy test 7 days after transfer.

Well I was sick with the ectopic pregnancy so I ate bread because it was the only thing that sounded good most of the time. All total with that pregnancy I was on some sort of bedrest or restrictions from end of February til the beginning of June. During that time I ate a lot of bread products but I was doing okay.

Usually when I eat gluten I am in pain but that wasn’t happening so I thought maybe my body was doing better. We found out beginning of June that the methotrexate I had been given to end the ectopic pregnancy hadn’t completely cleared it. This had been why I had been sick for so long and in pain.

On June 3rd I had surgery to completely remove everything and I suddenly felt better but I have discovered that I am back to not being able to eat gluten. That doesnt mean I don’t try. I ate 2 pieces of pizza and a small slice of cake at Chris’ birthday and I ended up with intestinal pain before we were done cleaning up.

When I had done Optavia they are very big on having a why. My why had been to loose enough weight to have a baby. Now my why is to learn to say no to food so that I don’t deal with that pain again.

Why Mary Kay?

I’ve never been a person that really wears makeup so a lot of people are surprised when they find out I decided to be a Mary Kay consultant. The thing is Mary Kay is about making you feel beautiful with or without make up. I used Mary Kay when we got married 10 years ago and felt gorgeous but I never felt the need to wear makeup.

To be completely honest I had probably worn makeup 10-15 times in the last 10 years. Most of which were for weddings or family pictures. As I got closer to 30 I noticed I was starting to get wrinkles and I needed to take better care of my skin. I’m really busy though and kept saying next week I’ll start.

Most of the time I looked like the picture above. Beautiful with or without makeup but I wasn’t really trying. Most of the time I also avoided pictures because I didnt like the way I looked. I also suffer from secondary infertility. Kinda a random place to just throw this in but its important for this next part.

Most people dont know that fertility treatments can effect your hairs ability to accept dye. I used to dye my hair before we did fertility treatments but now I cant. For my 30th birthday I decided to get my eyebrows dyed. Having blonde hair my eyebrows are super light. Not having eyebrows always made me feel like my makeup wasnt finished which kept me from wanting to do it. Well it didnt work due to fertility treatments.

We have done 2 embryos transfers in the last 6 months. The first one was a chemical miscarriage, but the second everything looked like it was going great.

We got a positive test 1 week after the embryo transfer and the numbers looked great on the first blood draw. They were so good in fact that Charlie and I would talk about twins. A week later at the second blood draw the numbers were a little lower than expected but not bad. I kept having to get blood draws for the next 10 days every 2 days while the doctors tried to figure out what was going on. One didnt want to five up hope and one thought it was ectopic from the beginning. Unfortunately she ended up being right and on March 25th I got a call saying I had to come get a methotrexate shot that day as the pregnancy was ectopic and attached to both my fallopian tube and uterus.

The methotrexate messed me up. My skin hurt, my body hurt, but most of all my mental and emotional health was in the toilet. This was my 10th miscarriage. I was depressed and I just wasn’t able to pull myself out of it.

My doctor recommended that I find something just for me. I needed to do something where I had to start to like my self again. One of my friends at work knew what was going on and gave me some Marykay samples to help me feel better. One of the first things I tried was the charcoal mask.

I loved it right away. The black heads on my nose that never go away did with one use of this mask. I then ordered the brow tint and for the first time in my life I had eyebrows and felt like my makeup was complete.

I started to play with eye shadows and foundation and quickly realized that I would do a look I love in less than 10 minutes. The other amazing thing was doing my makeup helped with my depression. It wasnt about the makeup though. It was about having to look at myself in the eyes. I realized I hadn’t been doing that. Looking myself in the eyes every day helped me to accept what had happened and love myself.

I realized that if it had helped me so much then I wanted to help others. So I became a Mary kay consultant. I’ve been able to help those around me feel beautiful in their own skin. I like to focus on taking care of yourself instead of the makeup.

Yes I’m still super busy and a lot of times it’s hard to get everything done but I love what Mary Kay has given me. I have had to get out of my comfort zone and talk to more people. That has been a huge blessing in my life and I will always appreciate it. Marykay.com/ebush10

Birthday party crafting

Today is a very special day. Chris turned 9 and we held a Star Wars birthday for him. Due to Covid last year we didnt have a party for him so he has been looking forward to today.

My mom always makes the most amazing cakes for the boys and this year she made Chris a Death Star cake. It was delicious.

Chris had also asked for a water balloon fight but instead of just doing an all out war we decided to have it be more like capture the flag. It worked out great and the kids had so much fun. We also did water balloon pinatas. I filled up normal balloons with water and tied them to a tree. Then we let every kid hit one. It was a great way for them to get wet to cool down and also was fun to watch.

Chris really wanted all of the kids to have light sabers but I couldn’t imagine buying one for each kid so I decided to make them out of pool noodles. The first step is to measure each pool noodle. And mark the half way point

Next cut the pool noodle in half. I used big kitchen scissors.

After cutting each tube in half. One of the half pool noodles is then cut into 1/4.

Take one of the half noodle and 1 of the short noodles. Line the little one up with the bottom of the longer piece.

Cut the small one so that the big on can be inserted though the small one. I usually cut on each side of the large one and then make a rectangle.

Insert the large one through the hole cut in the small one. This is the hardest part of the whole thing. You need to be really careful pulling the big one in as it can RIP easily.

Pull the small part up enough and you have a light saber. It’s important to try and get the circle ones as they are much easier. The swords were a fugue success but cost me aroungmd$0.60 each.

Chris also wanted a normal pinata but we couldn’t find a Star Wars one so he and I made on for his party. We decided to do a Death Star pinata because circles are easier. First I bought one of the big balls from Walmart, the craft spray, thicker string, and construction paper. We ripped the construction paper into 4 thin strips the long way and then I sprayed the ball with the craft spray. This made it so I could stick the paper to the ball. I did 2 layers of construction paper and then wrapped string around the ball. The string was only a few strands as there needs to be space for the candy to escape. Then I covered the string with 2 more layers. Again I wrapped the string around the ball but I also made loops to I would have somewhere to attach it. If I ever do this again I think it would have been better to have the attachment on the lower layer and add to the attachment with the second layer. At this point I popped the ball and after a little bit I was able to pull it out. If I ever do this again I plan on marking where the hole is so I can just deflate the ball. Cut a big enough whole to add candy later. I then added small rectangles of paper all around. These were made by ripping each paper into 16 pieces. I only got one layer done with these rectangles due to running out of time and Mason needing me. It worked out really well but another layer would have helped.

Missing keys

June has been super busy for me. Between trying to get my Mary kay business going, sports, work at the hospital, and my care giver job I am constantly going. Tonight Mason had enough of it.

I had gone into work late this morning because he was crying from 245 am til 745. Its 7 days post his tonsillectomy so I think he is loosing his scabs which is painful.

Chris had a baseball game that I got to in time to see him bat in the last inning and then we came home. I picked up an extra caregiver shift tonight due to another caregiver being stuck in Brazil due to covid. I was only going to be home for 45 minutes. Mason stole my keys and hid them so I couldn’t go to work. Luckily Charlie found them and I was only a little bit late for work today.

When I got to my caregiver job I found out that she was really wanting cookies. She didnt have a ton of ingredients on hand so I just winged it. They turned out really tasty.

Wing it cookies recipe: 1 egg, 1 stick butter, 3/4 cup sugar. Mix together til smooth. Next add a packet of maple brown sugar oatmeal. Mix well. Add 1 cup flour, 1/8 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp baking soda and mix well. I then added some white chocolate chips, dark chocolate chips, and semi sweet chocolate chips. Cook at 350 for about 10 minutes.